Who Do You NEED to Have a Heart to Heart Talk with Today?

Art from Kina Crow

Art from Kina Crow

As I fine tune my 8-week relationship workshop program, I smile as I realize how much I “walk the talk” in my marriage. All the skills and disciplines I am teaching to my clients, my hubby and I are applying in our relationship.

Sitting here, thinking about how excited I am to share these tools with my coaching clients, I have a big “aha moment”: These skills are not just there to apply in your marriage- you can and need to apply these same skills and disciplines in every relationship you have! To me this was a slap in the face.  Reality hit me hard…

I had to pause for a moment and look deep within.

Recently, I have shut down from someone in my own family.  A little over a month ago, I received two hurtful messages from this particular person that really upset me. I chose not to answer in order to not give it any power or play the “she said, I said” game. I was reacting from the place that silence is gold; silence is power.  That was my train of thoughts.  As the days went by, I shut down the part of me that was hurting and shoved my feelings aside.  The wall was up and there was no need to look behind the wall, right?

However, a few days ago, as I was going over some of the program’s modules, I realized that the wall had to come down. I have shown my children how to love, how to love all the parts of someone else, and how to have unconditional love. Yet, here I am, using the hurt as an excuse to put a wall up. Who am I to decide that this person is not worthy of my time, my compassion, my love?  Who am I to judge?  It was time to come from a place of love and not a place of hurt.  At the end of the day, if I am left focusing on the words received earlier, all my emotions triggered are of pain and hurt. Yet, if I choose to focus on the love and on all the parts of her that she is not showing, the emotions are now compassion, empathy and love.reach-out

It is not about me and how I feel.  It is not about pointing fingers. It is about taking responsibility.  It is about aligning with my core values and with who I am as a person.  And when I align with this part of me, I can be the bigger person and just let go. Just be. Just love.

I picked up my phone, and showed love, and it was beautiful. The wall is down and the weight is off of my shoulders.

I encourage each one of you to look around in your marriage, in your relationships.  Who do you need to have a heart to heart talk with today?  Who can you show and share your unconditional love with?

With love,

Carine

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